joidevivre | Inbox for Folkmore

[a sweetly accented voice says] Hello, this is Joi. Please leave me a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Thank you!

[Open to text, audio, video, and action]

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From:

obeir

[[ Continued from here so we won't clutter up that post! ]]

Most here seem to have a concept of what androids are, but none know the term Replicant. [ So it's very likely that the Wallace Corporation and former Tyrell Corporation are unique to their home universe, while androids tend to be more universal, at least as a science-fiction concept. ]

It may be best, but I leave it to your discretion. Explaining the purpose of your model has maybe given people the wrong impression about us. The wrong impression, unless... [ He falters. The words are clearly difficult for him. ] Unless you do feel that you were just a product being used. [ And that K was no better than the humans, the "lonely men" her model was marketed to. A sudden feeling of shame has him glancing away for a moment, and his brow furrows as he tries to make sense of what she's just accidentally let slip. ]

Wallace's assistant. [ Luv had escorted him through the archives. Had very blatantly tried to provoke a reaction from him, which he'd denied her. Testing him. He'd known she was dangerous. He looks back to the screen, to Joi, with a stricken expression. ] She killed you? How— why? Tell me what happened, please.

[ The emanator is delicate enough that it isn't hard to imagine it being damaged. But there's still the hard line console in his apartment that housed her programming... at least at the point in time that he's from. Had Luv destroyed it? For what purpose? Something to do with his last case, surely — possibly the Wallace Corporation tidying up "loose ends". Because he can only assume he was already dead, then, if he hadn't been able to stop Luv from killing Joi. ]

From:

joidevivre

Really? If it helps avoid misunderstandings, I'd be glad to switch terms. Though, I may slip up now and then, but not out of malice. [it's entirely possible that that's true, given the reaction people seem to have when she tries to explain who she is and what it all means]

...oh. [and she can see the play of emotions on his face and wants to soothe him. not because she "has to," but because she wants to, has wanted to for a long time] No! No, certainly not! You've always treated me like a person, like I'm me, not just an AI. I think that's likely how I was able to grow beyond my initial programming. So I think I gained some measure of...independence of thought as a result. But even with that independence, I want to be with you because you're you and I love you.

She--I shouldn't have mentioned that. It's not fair to you. I--there's nothing to be done about it, at least not from here.

[and she didn't regret doing what she did to save him. even if it came at the cost of her own existence as others would perceive existence.

and she sighs and looks down] Luv had pursued you as you were looking for a lead. She was...ruthless. So I manifested myself and told her to stop. Even though I knew there wasn't anything I could do. I...told you that I love you and that was when Luv---when she crushed the emulator.

From:

obeir

[ So that's the secret Joi's been keeping. For his sake, he knows, and it makes him feel impossibly sad for her. That she's had to carry the burden of that knowledge alone. Unless she may have confided in others, and he hopes they were able to comfort her if she did. But no one else knows her as he does, or knows what her life had been. No one else could truly understand the significance of that sacrifice but for the two of them. ]

If we're ever sent back, the way Thirteen has done to some others... [ A couple of whom were able to return to Folkmore, according to what he's seen on the network, but the majority... don't. They stay gone, presumably living out the remainder of their lives in their home universes. If they have lives to return to. He sets his jaw. His voice is quiet, defeated. ] So we're both dead. [ Of that he has little doubt. Joi already, and if the Wallace Corporation was after him— ] I'm just on a countdown.

[ And just because Joi has been given a second chance at life doesn't guarantee that he'll receive the same opportunity once he dies in their home universe. If either of them are ever sent back, that may be it for them. The end. This life, right now, is very likely all they have left together, he thinks. He seems to crumble beneath the weight of it all, his shoulders sagging as he bows his head. ]

I'm sorry— [ There's a hitch in his voice but he forces the words out. ] I couldn't save you.

From:

joidevivre

[she hasn't chosen to tell it. she knows it's a rather gruesome story and one most people here didn't seem like they'd understand. after all, how many AIs or androids had the people here ran across in their previous lives.

that and she knows that their kind were often characterized as the villains in sci-fi stories. some sort of humanity and artificial attention couldn't coexist idea which made the likely reality of them being exploited and kept on a short leash all the more likely]

...I can't believe that. Not of you. You're strong, you're smart, and you have things Luv could never dream of. Thoughtfulness. Creativity. Courage. Empathy. And most of all, strength of both body and mind. You'll--you'll find a way. I have to believe that. And I want you to believe it, too. You're going to be fine.

[if this is all that's left to them, it could be so much worse. at least here, they have beautiful, clear skies, clean water, enough to have entire baths in if one wanted, fresh food. yes, Thirteen couldn't be entirely trusted, but she seemed to have some kind of kindness to her. Joi didn't want to believe that they'd be sent back, only for Joi to cease to exist and K to be alone.

and the sound of his voice when he apologizes makes her tear up and her breath hitch] It's not your fault. I chose to do what I did because I wanted to. And I don't have any regrets.

From:

obeir

[ He shakes his head, unable to share her hope. ] None of that will matter if they want me gone. If Luv fails, they'll send someone else to finish the job. Probably someone just like me. As many times as it takes.

[ Because there's no stopping them. There's long been allegations of the company operating outside the boundaries of the law in a multitude of ways — there's likely corruption in the highest offices of the LAPD and other law enforcement agencies as well. Maybe always has been. It's basically an open secret how the Wallace Corporation takes advantage of less strict regulations off-world. Against the conglomerate that has their universe in a monopoly stranglehold, what chance would he, a lone android, their own product, have?

He never stood a chance to begin with, being assigned a case that would force him to walk into the lion's den. The world is built on a wall that separates kind... just as his handler said. ]

And how will I be fine if you're dead? I'll find a way to, what— forget you? [ He reaches up to rub his face with both hands, miserably realising that's probably exactly what would happen if he somehow survives in their home universe. ] They would extract my memory to see what I know. [ Which is just standard operating procedure when dealing with androids that humans in positions of power want information from. And he'd seen the Wallace Corporation's memory archive. ] If they still have a use for me after that, maybe reset my programming and repurpose me... Just a different kind of death.

From:

joidevivre

[and her tears spill over while still trying to look brave] Then we'll stay. Talk to the fox and explain things. This place isn't perfect, I know it's not, but it's better than where we left. We can be together here and live like any other couple.

[what are the five stages of grief? remembering them, it seemed as though she was into bargaining. but she couldn't bring herself to feel badly about it. K had been put through far too much, he deserved to have peace. but she doesn't know if he'll agree to staying since he felt so strongly about that case, he seemed to need to solve it. despite the clear risks of trying to do so.

she wanted to have hope. she felt like she had to keep hope alive. for his sake as well as for her own. the very thought of K not being in the world they came from, she knew it wasn't a good life. but it was still a life]

Mourn me, perhaps. [and she can't deny what he says about them extracting his memories] You could go somewhere. Anywhere which wasn't that awful city. Somewhere they can't find you, where you'd blend in and no one would think otherwise. There has to be a way. [and she supposed this might count as denial]

From:

obeir

[ Impossibilities, each more unlikely than the last in his mind. Presently he can't fathom running — because he can't go against his orders. At this point the case largely only matters to him because he was ordered to take care of it, and he lacks the autonomy to do anything other than obey. The same reason he can't choose to run even to save himself. Can't choose anything.

Except to stop pursuing a conversation that's clearly hurting Joi. It's unfair to rob her of her hope. Her tears make something in him ache, and it has him relenting, withdrawing with a remorseful expression. A part of him regrets that the conversation is happening over the network, where he's unable to physically comfort her, but it also may have been too difficult to have in person.

It's understandable if she wants her sacrifice to have been meaningful, and it will be, even if it ultimately won't save his life. His thoughts will be of her when he eventually does draw his final breath, alone in the falling snow. ]

I don't want to go back... I've been hoping we can stay. [ Just to be clear. But he also doesn't think either of them will have a real choice in the matter. ] Thank you for telling me. I'd rather know the truth than have to live in ignorance. [ Regardless of whether or not he'll actually retain this knowledge if he's sent back to their home universe. The truth matters to him here and now. His voice softens. ] I'm glad I could at least be with you when it happened.

[ So she didn't have to die alone. There's a grim sort of comfort to be found in knowing he was with her from the first moment of her consciousness until the last. And now... No matter what happens to him, he hopes she'll be able to continue living. ]

From:

joidevivre

[she's all too aware that what she's proposing is unlikely, even though in her opinion it was the height of cruelty to bring them together, only to ultimately tear them apart. even despite her programming, K was the first person she thought of when she awoke and the last one she thought of before falling asleep. she didn't see any set of circumstances where that would change.

she wishes she were near him. but yes, he would be correct to think this would be a difficult conversation to have in person. She'd have likely redoubled her bargaining instincts, anything to put off the potential inevitability. she hates the thought of K being killed just for doing what he was 'supposed' to. it was cruel and unfair and even though she knew that the world was cruel and unfair, part of her still longed for the opposite.

all she'd wanted to do was distract Luv, to give K some time to recover and have a better chance at fighting back. she was glad to know she was able to grant him that]

So do I. That's what I want, I love the clear skies, the fresh air, the scents of growing things. Food I can really taste, clothing I can really wear. And you. Every day, you. That's not too much to ask for, is it? [and she wishes she hadn't burdened him. if there was any chance she could have been brought back, well. possible. but unlikely] So am I. All I could think about was that I love you.

[no, not alone. never alone, even when K wasn't physically there]

From:

overnightoaks

Hey there, neighbor! It's Henry Oak here with your Secret Snowflake assignment.

Your giftee is Yelena Belova. Go ahead and give them something that will make them feel special this winter holiday season!

From:

joidevivre

Hello, Henry! How would I go about finding what Ms. Belova would wish for? Unfortunately, I do not know her, but I would like to get her something absolutely perfect.

From:

overnightoaks

Hey there Joi! Let me do a little snooping and get back to you on that one...

[ Later that day, he texts back: ]

OK, from what I was able to find out, Yelena enjoys collecting little kitschy knickknacks, and she also likes spicy food. Hopefully that gives you some ideas!

From:

joidevivre

Thank you kindly, I greatly appreciate your assistance! I have a few ideas in mind which may work.

From:

obeir

[ Over the last several weeks K has asked for Joi's help decorating their Epiphany apartment for the holidays: hanging festive lights and garlands, arranging winter bouquets, setting out warm fuzzy throws on the sofas, decorating a potted tree that can later be planted, and even strategically placing a few sprigs of mistletoe above doorways. It's a cosy transformation. She'll even occasionally be able to catch K playing holiday songs on his piano, amid the sentimental jazz and classical music that he seems to prefer. He's happy that they have the opportunity to celebrate something together. And unlike the "anniversary" on which he gave her the emanator, they don't have to pretend this time.

There are also gifts, each having been chosen with thought and care. Underneath the tree are several finely wrapped boxes addressed to Joi, as well as a String-of-Hearts potted plant with a bow tied around its basket in lieu of being wrapped. Within the boxes she'll find an assortment of powdered hot chocolate mixes in cute animal-shaped tins with all the fixings (marshmallows, caramel, cinnamon sticks, candy canes, etc.), a fairy-themed gown of iridescent layers with modifications to accommodate her wings, a matching diadem, necklace, and hair accessory that go with it, a faux fur winter cloak, a journaling kit to encourage her to write down her thoughts and feelings (but can of course be used for anything she wants), several board games meant to be played together or with company, and a selection of cook books with a note stating they can learn together, since it hasn't escaped K's notice how much she enjoys being able to eat now. He's tried his best to find a good balance between things meant to be done together and continuing to encourage her to be her own person. ]

From:

obeir

[ K isn't actually all that familiar with Valentine's Day, but based on what he gleans from the network and additional research on the topic, it's a holiday meant for expressing love, affection, and appreciation in any form. Sentiments he doesn't need an excuse to celebrate, but he wants to do something special for Joi all the same.

And so he bakes her his attempt at Linzer cookies filled with strawberry jam (some may be a little burnt, but they mostly turned out well!) and arranges them in a heart-shaped dish next to a framed photo of them together, since that's one thing their apartment has been lacking. There's also a card wishing her a lovely Valentine's Day, signed by K. ]

From:

obeir

The power is still out by the time K and Joi make the snowy trek home, and despite his lingering exhaustion K sees to getting a fire going in the fireplace — by touching the wood with a hand and igniting it using his elemental abilities. It's the most efficient method, even if it expends energy he doesn't really have to spare right now. But it's fine. They're home, he can rest. For the time being he forgoes removing his coat and just settles onto the sofa across from the fireplace, rubbing his hands together to warm them.

"So what do you think of them?" he asks after a moment, his expression growing fond as he glances toward Joi. "Jayce and Viktor. They've been very kind to me. They're good friends." A beat. "Never thought I'd be able to say that." Hence why he'd wanted to prepare food for them, to ensure they and any guests at the forge wouldn't have to go hungry during these blackouts. After everything Jayce and Viktor have done for him, it was really the least he could do.

And lately he's been sensing that his friendship with the pair is — different from his other friendships. The feelings are different, the boundaries have been increasingly blurry. In such a way that he's beginning to realise... they might extend into a nebulous territory beyond friendship.

From:

joidevivre

Joi can't help being mesmerized by the snow. Back home, it was always either choking smog or sickly sunlight, like it wanted the smog to choke it, but couldn't do so just yet. And she frets when K lights the fireplace, surely she could have done so with a match or one of those little flames on a stick like she used to turn--light candles. She had a fondness for scented candles, especially the ones which were meant to evoke a mood more than anything else--Christmas woods, moonlight rhapsody, summer breeze. Things like those.

She'd been especially fond of the Christmas woods one, it smelled like pine and warm firelight and spice all at the same time, her nose easily finding and categorizing its various scents.

"I didn't really have a chance to talk to them, but it was kind of them to offer their home up as a shelter from the cold. And I'm glad that they've been good friends to you. Maybe I should invite them to dinner? I've been working on perfecting that skillet-fried tofu with greens, I think I'm getting close to making it properly." And she leans into K, taking his hand. "I'm glad you have friends you can count on here. I know how--how lonely you were back home." And she figured that the least she could do for K's friends was playing hostess for them for a while. She had literally thousands of cocktail recipes at the ready.

But Joi hasn't realized that yet, she assumes he's asking her about two good friends of his where she should try to befriend them in turn.

From:

obeir

"That would be lovely to do sometime," K replies with a smile, gently squeezing her hand. "But I insist on handling the meal. Not that I don't appreciate the offer, but you should get to enjoy yourself, too. Relax and not worry about the details for once."

No more playing pretend or limiting themselves to their programmed roles. No more performing their human-assigned gender designations if they don't want to. They're both free to do as they please and figure out their identities and he won't have her 'serving' anyone, not him and not his friends. Besides, he enjoys cooking for others.

"They're good people," he agrees, lightly settling in against her as he watches the fire for a moment. "They treat me like a person. And they've become very important to me."

In ways he doesn't fully understand. Maybe these are normal, expected feelings to have for one's closest friends. How would he know? They're among the first he's ever had, and before them, the person he's felt closest to... well, he's romantically involved with her. While he rarely speaks openly of his feelings, preferring to express them in other ways, there's no question in his mind or heart that he loves Joi. Is in love with her. And since being brought to Folkmore and watching her truly blossom into her own person, his certainty — his love — have only grown, not diminished in any way.

Which makes his feelings for his two friends all the more confusing. His and Joi's relationship isn't lacking anything, at least not to him. He isn't unhappy or dissatisfied. When it comes to their relationship and life together, he could honestly say he's the happiest he's ever been, happier than he ever thought possible. If fairy tale endings were real, he thinks this could be his. But the fact remains.

"Important to me," he repeats softly, trying to translate his feelings into words, "as... maybe something more than friends, I think." His internal conflict is clear in his expression as he looks at her now, as though she might have the answers that he doesn't. He's out of his depth with this.

From:

joidevivre

"Ah," Joi said teasingly. "That means I'll have to do the dishes when you're done. Granted, the dishwasher saves a lot of work, but I still have to load it and unload it," she said with a wink. "And I can't help worrying about the details. Even if it's simply the color of lipstick I choose to use."

She never wanted them to fulfill their 'roles.' Not here. Here, she was equal to him. Equal, not superior. And she loved him as much as she always had, he himself was enough to inspire true love. But she knows he enjoys cooking for them, she'd had plenty of opportunities to enjoy it. The differences between food and spices and methods were nearly overwhelming in her new body, but something she really appreciated.

"All the more reason to meet them. Anyone who treats you as a human is a friend of mine. And...I hope that they'll wish to be my friends in turn." She knew she needed more friends. If they were already friends of K, she hoped that would easily transition into being friends of hers in turn.

And Joi is deeply, desperately in love with K. She knew that she'd transitioned between her role and what she wanted when she chose to distract Luv. That she'd transitioned her programming when she insisted the K delete her data from the apartment and keep her only on the emulator. She did it out of love. True love, not the manipulative love she'd been programmed to inspire.

Joi cuddles in closer and reaches up to cup K's cheek in her hand. The silk of her nightie was a thrilling contrast between the feel of K's flesh against hers.

And that took Joi a moment to process. "...ah. I see. Should I, ah. Keep my distance from them instead? I wouldn't want to interfere with them and your feelings for them," she said, even though she felt as though each word was being pulled out of her with a hook.

From:

obeir

"They don't treat me like a human," K's careful to point out, "but a person. Which is better if you ask me. I would never want to be mistaken for a human." Because he's come to understand personhood isn't tied to being human, nor has he ever wanted to be human or be treated like one. He's become protective and even proud of his android identity and hopes others will respect it, too, and not treat him as inferior or assume he wants to be anything other than what — and who — he is.

He's watching Joi when she replies, his brow furrowing in concern. He doesn't regret being honest about his feelings, only the hurt they've seemed to cause.

"No, sweetheart. Not unless that would be more comfortable for you. You wouldn't be 'interfering'." A pause. "Let's put any dinner plans on hold for now, though." Lest she think he'll expect her to do anything she might be uncomfortable with just for his sake. No, that won't do. Reaching to cover her hand with his own, he lightly traces her knuckles with his thumb.

"I love you with everything I am," he says with a quiet sincerity, the words coming easily. "Nothing can change that. What I feel for them has not and will not diminish what I feel for you. Tell me how you feel," he asks as he shifts to more fully face her, wanting to take in everything about her expression and demeanour. "What you're thinking."

From:

joidevivre

"Ah. My mistake. I'm still...people don't seem to understand Replicant and even those who understand android seem to assume things about me which aren't true. The first being that I have my own free will and have for a long time," she says with a rueful smile. "They don't seem to have the frame of reference to understand fully." She has yet to learn that lesson. With very few exemptions, she's side-stepped the question of who and what she is, insisting on simply being Joi. What they assumed beyond that was up to them.

She doesn't want K to think he's hurt her. The exact opposite, really. So she smiles reassuringly and cuddles in closer.

"I...I think I would still want to. To understand, if nothing else." And she waited for him to reply. "All right. I want to respect you and these other two, they would object to another in their orbit?" Because that's what she's afraid of. That there is something being built that she cannot, should not interfere in. But if it's what K wants, well. Wasn't that a human saying, 'if you love them, set them free. if they return to you, that's how you know that they love you.' And K was returning, at least in a sense.

"And I love you with everything I have, too. I always have. Even before I understood what was happening, that you treated me as an equal where everyone else saw me as a product. And I want you to be happy. If those two men make you happy, then I'm glad for you," she said, her dark eyes wide and sincere.

From:

obeir

Maybe it shouldn't be surprising to realise he's capable of feeling devotion for more than one person. He's never shied away from commitment. Just the opposite, it's something he's always desired and thrived in. He used to like to daydream of what real married life might be like with Joi: exchanging vows and rings, perhaps choosing names for each other so that they might share a surname, recognition from others of their union, recognition of them as people... Things that could only ever exist within his mind, a secret idyll kept safe from the harshness of reality.

But now, in this new world... what might be possible here? It isn't only Jayce and Viktor whom he'd like to invite further into his life. There's also a desire to deepen the relationship he already has with Joi. That she's so understanding of his feelings — and wants to be included in every aspect of his life, not withdraw from it— only makes him love her more.

"You will never be unwelcome in any part of my life. And I wouldn't want to share my life with anyone who doesn't appreciate you." Just to be clear that he won't tolerate anyone disrespecting her, regardless of his feelings for them. They might not all become close friends and that's fine, but it's important that they respect Joi as a person and his partner — and he's sure they will.

"You make me happy, too," he says quietly as he laces their fingers together. "Happier than I thought possible. I wouldn't be who I am without you." Quite literally, given that their relationship and her encouragement have been instrumental in his still-developing sense of personhood. It all started with Joi. Once she'd been capable of acting of her own volition, of making her own choices that didn't require his input or approval, she still chose to love him. And now having her own body that isn't bound to an emanator. That she still chooses to be with him, still chooses to love him even now means everything to him.

"Are you happy?" he asks, because that's equally if not more important than his own feelings. "What do you want, need from me? From our relationship?" Things they haven't ever really discussed before, but they should. He wants to ensure her needs are being met and she feels secure with him — and dearly hopes she still wants a future with him, too. He wants to believe they can have that together here.

From:

joidevivre

Joi had many of the same fantasies, even though she wasn't sure she entirely deserved them. She loved K, that much she was all too aware of. But she was a one person woman. So while she wanted K to be free to express his emotions for others in whichever ways they manifested themselves, she had a hard time understanding and expressing her own at times. But she knew she wanted K to be happy and if this made him happy, she was all in favor of it. But, she too had wished for the parts of married life which meant the most, being together, being able to rely upon one another, being the first person she saw as she woke and the last she saw before she slept. All of it seemed silly on the surface, a girl's dreams, but she felt how she felt and she had a difficult time letting go of that notion. She didn't want to let it go.

Joi was at a bit of a disadvantage, given how few people her own 'age' were here that she felt similarly drawn to as she was to K. She didn't care if it was programmed, he was the one she wanted to be with no matter what. And she assumed that the two men in question wouldn't want to be similarly linked to her. Maybe she was wrong, maybe she was doing them a disservice, but she felt like she had to assume it was true.

"Really," Joi breathed out. That was more than she was hoping for. She'd assumed it would be a first among equals if nothing else. She hadn't wanted to think about others seeing her as...not as the primary source of K's love and support, never that, but as the one he was mostly devoted to. And she was willing to try and befriend them on her own, she wondered how they'd see her though.

And the feeling of K's fingers laced with her own made Joi blush happily, her lips curved in a warm smile. "I wouldn't be who I am without you, either. I think...most of my 'sisters' were used as an easy source of comfort. But you've always treated me as an equal and I can't tell you how grateful I am for that." And how could she not love K? He was so brave, so strong, so trustworthy that she couldn't help loving him, even after she gained her own self-awareness. It was like it was meant to be, like something out of the fairy tales which had been programmed into her, only instead of simply Snow White being awakened with a kiss or Pinocchio being a real boy, they were able to side-step those notions entirely and be awake, be self-aware.

"I am. There are a great number of young people who need caring for. A girl Jeanne, she seems so...not naïve, ,but not world-weary, either. I want to try and protect her from disappointment, as much as I can. She seems like the kind of girl for whom a fall would be devastating in the end. So I want to try and ease her way as much as I can. As for what I need from you....love. And I wouldn't say no to a little gold ring on my left ring-finger. Nothing would make me happier, in fact." Joi knew she was venturing out onto a thin branch, especially after K had admitted to having feelings for others, but she knew what she wanted.

Marriage. Being together 'til death did they part. And here, death wasn't the end, so there could be no end to their companionship and love.

From:

obeir

"Because you are my equal," K says simply, firmly. "I've always believed that." He's always wanted a partner, not property, and he's treated her accordingly. And, technically, she never was his property to begin with — he wasn't legally permitted to own anything when he, himself, is property. The Joi user license had been in his handler's name. As was his apartment. Along with virtually everything else that was 'his' in their home universe; he was only allowed possessions his handler knew and approved of.

His smile softens as he listens to Joi describe the girl she wants to look out for, unable to help his mind from wandering a little to thoughts of parenthood. What it might be like for them, whether it's something Joi might ever want. What she follows up with — the suggestion of marriage, or something that sounds a lot like it — startles a look of surprise from him.

"You want that with me?" he asks in a hushed tone, vulnerability plain in his expression, along with all the love he feels for her. "I used to daydream..." As he trails off with an almost shy look he ducks his head, that soft smile returning. "I want that, too. With you. And I've been thinking... You're a Legend," he says with a glance toward her halo, not for the first time thinking she really is an angel. "My angel," he adds a little playfully as he gently squeezes her hand. "And I'm a Familiar. That means it's possible for us to share a bond. If you'd ever like to. From what I've heard, it might let us feel each other's emotions, maybe even know each other's thoughts. And help each other. It seems to be unique for each pair. I understand if that might be— too much, but I wanted to ask you."

Because to him, that level of closeness and commitment between them would be very welcome. Marriage, a bond. Who's to say they couldn't have both if they want to?

From:

joidevivre

"I know. I know you have. Me as me was who you wanted. And I can't tell you how much I appreciate that. How I always have, how I always will." It had been a surprise at first, she'd initially assumed she'd be customized within an inch of her programming, but no. Joi herself as herself was who K wanted to share his life with. She hadn't been sentient enough to question that at first, but the more he treated her as his equal and his partner, the more she felt like she could think, question things, be herself on her terms. And she didn't care whose name was on the ownership papers. It didn't make a difference to Joi.

Joi was touched by the girl's enthusiasm and devotion to her cause and her angel. Imagine that, a literal angel! Such a thing was possible in another world. Of course, Joi's own nature may have been similarly amazing to Jeanne. And she would want to be a mother. She watched the young people here flirt and fight and fall in love and she wondered at what it would be like to watch a child of their own grow into an equally vibrant teenager.

"Of course I do," Joi said in a reassuring, gentle tone of voice. "I love you. You love me. Oftentimes, marriage follows, especially when we've loved each other so much for so long." And K looks so adorable, so sweet, so handsome that she can't help reaching up to cup his face in her hand, thumb gently caressing his cheek. And her answering smile was radiant. "I'm so glad to hear that! It's like something out of a wonderful dream! And yes, I'm a Legend." That shy expression was almost impossible to not kiss, but she felt it likely he had more to say. "Yours always," and she squeezed his hand back. "I would like that so very much! And it's the furthest thing from too much, it's just right. Ideal, really. I want to know you and be with you in every way possible. A bond, marriage...they both seem wonderful. Not only that, I know they'd be wonderful because it's us. And we are wonderful. So of course a bond between us, a marriage, they'd be wonderful too."

She'd welcome it entirely, embrace it and him with both arms. She feels rather like she's fallen into a wonderful dream, one where anything is possible.

From:

obeir

It would have been difficult to customise settings to his liking when he'd lacked any preferences to begin with, but that's beside the point. Even if he'd had preferences or fantasies or anything like the target audience were expected to have, it still wouldn't have felt right to him, imposing his will on another. He knows what it is to be a slave — he's still one himself, still bound by that programming even while physically separated from his handler — and would never wish the experience on anyone else. Not even on the humans who keep him and his kind enslaved. It's been a far more pleasant experience being able to discover who he is alongside Joi, with both of them on the same path of personhood.

Ideal, really. That's a sentiment that feels right to him, too. And their mutual acknowledgement of a desire to form a bond with one another is all that's required for the magic to begin taking hold. There's an expanding sense of awareness that has K closing his eyes as he leans into Joi's touch, letting their combined emotions flow through him. Her eagerness and love mirror his own, and there's his elation, curiosity, happiness — there's even an echo of his thoughts about the possibility of parenthood, all of it filtering through their new bond and shared freely with her.

"Do you feel it...?" he asks in a hushed tone with his eyes still closed, overwhelmed as he is by the intensity of everything he's feeling. In a good way. This is exactly what he'd wanted, and he offers no resistance as the magic binds them together and grows stronger by the moment. Amid it all there's a gentle warmth that's uniquely his, one which steadily envelops Joi; for as long as she wants this bond with him, it will always remain with her.

From:

joidevivre

Still, that wouldn't have stopped many from trying. Going through hair and skin colors, eye colors, figures until something clicked. And at the time, Joi hadn't had the self-awareness to consider herself a slave, wouldn't have understood why he was. But now she does and she's so very grateful that those who'd held his reins are far, far away from here and hopefully always would be. She doesn't even want them to show up temporarily during Trials, doesn't want them intruding on what could and should and would be their future together.

She feels his echos of thoughts of parenthood and it brings tears of joy to her eyes. The idea of them becoming parents of their own little miracle thrills through her like the rain of sparkles from a firework, heady and delightful. And she leans into him as well, wanting to breathe him in, seeking the comfort and happiness which can only come from his touch, his love. She feels effervescent, like the finest champagne, and lighter than air, like she could use her neon wings to truly fly, carrying them into the sky.

"I do," she whispers back, her own eyes closing as she rests her forehead against him. Reaches for as much as possible of him, like their mental closeness had to be echoed in the physical as well. She's trembling with how right this feels when his warmth envelops and binds them, her own starbright love and belief in him reaching out in answer.

From:

obeir

There's a conversation K's been putting off for some months now, not wanting to burden Joi with the terrible knowledge that he's had to live with, and hoping he could deal with things on his own terms. And he has been trying... with dubious results. On those particularly bad days where he can't hide how much he's struggling, and Joi looks at him with so much concern and love in her expression, it's almost more than he can bear. Things continue in this troubling state until finally, one day, all of it is more than he can bear.

He's lying beside Joi on their bed with an arm curled around her while he attempts to write music. He's been staring at the unfinished composition in his notebook without making any further progress for a long while now, his mind elsewhere, his thoughts full of static in lieu of the music he'd hoped to compose. His brow furrows as he finally closes his notebook and quietly asks, "Sweetheart, can we talk?"

From:

joidevivre

Joi is nestled into K's arms, feeling content. Feeling feelings she never thought she'd get to express, not as herself.

But she can't help resorting to her programming. "Can we talk," rarely meant anything good. But Joi tried to not seem as apprehensive as she felt as she propped her chin up on her hands which were resting on his chest.

"Of course we can. What's bothering you, darling?"

From:

obeir

"I'm sorry for worrying you. I know you've noticed how... I've been lately." Noticed enough that he figures he doesn't need to elaborate; Joi has always been sensitive to his moods, even when she doesn't know the cause of them. "It's that—" Despite exhaustively running through how this conversation might go in his head, he still doesn't know where to even begin now that it's actually happening. He tries again.

"It's complicated to explain. My memories have been returning. Of the world I was in before the Fox brought me here. Not our home universe, but," he hesitates, thinking, "one probably best described as a nightmare controlled by eldritch beings. I was at their mercy for some years. I know these memories are real, that I lived that life, because they— changed me, my blood. It's still changed. I could show you... And there's someone here who I knew in that other world. He remembers me. We survived because death wasn't always permanent there," he finishes the explanation on a grim note. But that's only half of the story.

"And with these returning memories... I also know what happened to us now. What will happen to us. How you died," he says quietly, tightening his arm around her. "And everything else."

It's clear he doesn't want to elaborate on those details. But he thinks Joi deserves the truth, no matter how painful. There should be no secrets between them, certainly not ones of this magnitude. His voice lowers as he forces himself to continue, "How Mariette used your arrangement to get close enough to plant a tracking device on me." Used them both. But for now he chooses to gloss over his feelings on the encounter, though he knows it's something they need to discuss.

"That's how her group finds me after Luv leaves me for dead and takes Deckard. Mariette's part of— they're all rogue androids, a resistance led by one of Sapper's cohorts, Freysa. They think Deckard's child means freedom for us. But the child's mother, she wasn't one of the mass-produced replicants, I know that much. She was something else. A prototype, maybe, one of a kind. Made by Tyrell and a secret even to the Wallace Corporation. Probably an illegal experiment with transplanting or cloning human reproductive organs. A child born of that means nothing," he says, some bitterness bleeding into his otherwise impassive tone. "But they want to use the child regardless... and they want to use me to kill Deckard, so he can't give Wallace any information that'll lead him to Freysa. They want to use me exactly as humans do. A disposable tool to do their dirty work for them."

He pauses there, a moment to appreciate the horrible irony of it all. Hypocrites, the lot of them. How are they any better than humans themselves when they choose to manipulate, use, and sacrifice their own kind to further their cause? Does that not defeat the very purpose of their cause? It's difficult to hide his resentment. There's a reason he went against Freysa's orders, instead making his own choice and reuniting a father with his daughter. He hopes they're able to escape together, that his sacrifice will have meant something.

"I intercept Luv's convoy and shoot them down. I confront Luv — drown her," though not without incurring fatal injuries himself, "then I take Deckard to meet his child." A beat. "His daughter. Ana Stelline." The memory-designer who'd been overcome with emotion upon seeing his real memory of the orphanage, the wooden horse. Because it was her real memory that never should have been implanted in an android's head to begin with. Releasing a weary sigh, he finishes his recounting of events in a bleak tone, "I die of my injuries on the steps outside her lab."

And that's what awaits him when and if Thirteen sends him back to their home universe.

From:

joidevivre

"Of course I have been. I'm worried, but I don't know if it's entirely my place to ask why. I am...made of programming, even if I think I did transcend it." Joi lightly ran her fingers up K's throat, up to his face, where she cupped his face with her hand.

And at the description of the other world, Joi feels her (unnatural, programmed) breath catch in her throat. So she tries to look on the bright side of things. "I'm grateful you had a friend to see you through that madness. And I'm also grateful he's here, so that the two of you can discuss your shared experiences and try to come to terms with them as best as you can."

"...you do?" Joi said in a whisper, nestling closer to K, reaching out to hold him. She can't imagine that receiving those memories were pretty, especially given all of the givens. She wanted to try to take that pain from him, to take it onto herself. She was strong. She could deal with it.

And Joi felt her blood run cold when K mentioned what Mariette did. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I--I never would have asked her to join us if I had any idea that she's use you like that. All I wanted was the illusion of you being able to make love to me. She was... a means to that end. Not that I'm proud of that, but I felt like I had to."

"My god,' Joi whispered even though god had no influence on her or her experiences. "So I---so I was wrong. I was so sure it was you. I...got your hopes up for nothing. And, Decker? He was still alive? I can't remember the last time he was within society, even accessing my full memory. But you're not a tool," Joi said fiercely. "You're a person, one who deserves as much respect as any other person. You're not all programming, neither am I. We transcended both. You and I."

She didn't know what came after, but she'd be in full agreement should she know. No one wanted to be the tool of anyone else, regardless of whether or not they were human or Replicant. And she woudn't be as appreciative of the irony. She'd be angry. She felt that K was his own man, allowed to forge his own destiny. She didn't care if it was without her, she wanted him to be happy. Safe. Protected.

"So the...child was Decker's," she asked softly.

But the fact that he was left to die of his injuries has her setting up straight in bed, her white silken slip standing out against the dim of the room. "No. No, I refuse to accept it. I can't imagine a world where you're left to die for doing the right thing. There must be another way! What about Deckard and his daughter, I--I don't want to say that they owe you, but. Surely some kind of gratitude should come into play! You will not die there, not as long as I have anything to say about it!"

But she knew good and well that by that point she had no say. Which was likely part of why she was so fiercely defending him.

From:

obeir

K watches her with a sad expression during her vehement denial of his fate. It's understandable, but it's still painful to hear — hurts him because he knows it hurts her. He's had a difficult enough time coming to terms with his fate, with not having a future, and clinging to false hope hasn't helped him. He can't share her denial this time.

"It's already happened..." Will happen. Same difference when it comes to fixed timelines. And there is no changing it, as far as he's aware. He's tried. "I'm physically just from an earlier point in the timeline. Whatever time I'm allowed here is all I have left." He's unable to offer her false hope either, even if it would comfort her. What value would it truly hold when built on a foundation of lies?

"Can you tell me why you felt you had to involve Mariette?" he asks softly, returning to the topic that still holds so many unanswered questions for him. "And without... asking whether it was something that I wanted." She had just assumed. He falls quiet for a long moment before admitting, "I didn't want it. Never like that... a stranger in my bed, touching me in ways that felt — wrong. I only wanted you. I would have said no if I'd known I was allowed to." Though his body had telegraphed his distress clearly enough, and he essentially had told her 'no' when he'd insisted that she was real to him, regardless of her physical state. But she hadn't believed him. Would he and Joi have possibly survived in their home universe if Mariette hadn't been allowed close enough to use him as she had? But he doesn't dare voice the thought aloud.

Even now there are moments when Joi is touching him, kissing him, and he'll see the static flicker of Mariette's visage superimposed over hers, or he'll experience the ghostly vestiges of Mariette's touch. It leaves him cold inside. The fear that the same will occur during any further attempts at intimacy has prevented him from initiating. Though he's never cared for the physical act of sex in and of itself, never needed or wanted it. Without a strong emotional component involved, without intimacy and love, he simply doesn't have any interest and it serves no purpose to him. Joi perhaps still has a lot to learn about him, just as he's still learning about her.

From:

joidevivre

Joi hates the thought of K dying. She'd been at peace with her own death, knowing it would buy K valuable time, but she worries about how he could accept his own. He was the type of person--person, regardless of being a Replicant, that didn't matter--the world needed more of, not fewer.

And Joi blinks rapidly, trying to conceal the face that she had tears in her eyes, try to keep them from falling and asked falteringly "May I ask...all of it? What happened after I died?" Because she needed to know. It would be awful and likely would tear her heart in two, but she needed to know regardless. She needed to know how K would make peace with his own death, if it were possible given all which was going on when she died.

"I...I thought that perhaps it would be pleasing somehow? To be with me in the only way I could possibly see." And she bows her head at the rest of what K has to say, still fighting with tears, though she suspects it may be a losing battle in the end. "I needed it. I think. At least that's what I thought at the time, how could I possibly be real if you couldn't be with me in every way possible?" And in retrospect, she can see how reluctant K truly was and that's when the first tear fell. By the time she made the arrangement with Mariette, Joi had been certain that she was acting fully of her own free will, not simply some programmed instinct for intimacy. She had assumed that her 'sisters' had done similar things and it had been pleasing for their partner, but that assumption turned out to be entirely wrong. At least with her and K. "I--I'm sorry. I made a mistake. It was my mistake, you shouldn't have to have been dragged into it as well. It...I don't think it was fair. To you. To us. And I'm sorry, K. I really am."

If Joi had any idea that K was having flashbacks of that nature, she'd be even more upset with herself and wish desperately that she could undo what had been done. But wasn't that part of being a person? Making mistakes which couldn't be fixed by a reboot or a previous save file? It was a lesson she was taking to heart, vowing to herself that she wouldn't be so foolish again. When she kissed or touched K, she wanted him to see her, only her because this was a place which allowed that. It was a gift, something beyond price, to be able to be here with K forever if possible. But the irony was that Joi was the same. Not because of programming, but because of her. She wanted emotional intimacy. She wanted to feel like she was special, beloved, cherished and K gave that to her. But it was true, there was still much for them to learn about each other, their relationship, everything really.

((OOC: Aimee Mann's cover of The Scientist (so much better than the original Coldplay version!) was playing while writing this at work and I was all "I'm not verklempt! Yes, let me scan that document into the patient's files!" while writing a perspective of someone who wronged the man she loves and wanting to go back to before she brought in Mariette. 😅))

From:

obeir

((OOC: Oooh what a beautiful and sad song! I love that cover, thank you for sharing it. And ouch, it really does hit you right in the feels, doesn't it... my heart. ))

"Immediately after, you mean...?" It isn't a surprising request, given he hadn't gone into much detail about any of the events. "Luv and her remaining cohorts took Deckard and left. I lost consciousness. I was bleeding out— I'd been impaled by a piece of rebar... But I remember gathering the pieces of the emanator," he quietly recalls. Because that was all he'd had left of Joi. And he'd thought that maybe, if enough of the vital parts could be salvaged, if she could be transferred off— he takes a quiet, shaky breath before continuing. "I'm not sure how long it was before Mariette's group found me there. They stitched me together well enough to get me back on my feet. So they could use me. Until Luv later shot and stabbed me."

He'd incurred injuries that would have outright killed a human, but his superior constitution and sheer force of will had enabled him to see his task through to the end. If he hadn't been out in the middle of nowhere at Stelline Laboratories, if he'd received proper treatment to jumpstart his healing abilities... who knows, maybe he could have survived. But at what cost? Hunted for the rest of his miserable life by humans, used as a pawn by the rebellion, all while being completely alone — a living hell.

Joi had perhaps still been a victim of her programming in some ways, then, even if the choice to use Mariette's services had been her own. Companion AIs were programmed and marketed exclusively for humans, and no doubt the average human man would have had a far more pleasant experience than K was able to. He isn't sure how to reconcile the vague feelings of infidelity on top of everything else, even as unwarranted as they probably are.

But K isn't looking to assign blame for what happened, only understand why it did. If there is blame to be placed somewhere between the two of them, he assumes it lies with him and his deficiencies, his presumably abnormal (for an android) emotional attachment, his inability to separate emotions from sex, the list goes on... Her tears make him feel guilty and he isn't sure what to say, just pulls her in closer and holds her tighter for a long moment in silence, thinking.

"We should have talked about it beforehand. But it's okay to make mistakes," he murmurs at length as he brings a hand up to gently stroke her hair, and brushes his fingertips against her cheek in a caress, hoping to comfort her in any way he can. He enjoys sharing this closeness. And could have enjoyed sexual intimacy with Joi — only Joi, without Mariette — even when she'd been limited to a non-physical body. There are so many different kinds of intimacies, so many different ways to express love, after all. "We could still... share that, if it's something you want. With you as you are, this time. And me as I am. And no one else. Just us." He's learnt the hard way that inviting other people into their bed is not something that he'll ever want, regardless of what their involvement entails. He has never wanted to share Joi or be shared himself like that. He doesn't think his heart could take it, not again.

From:

joidevivre

((OOC: I know! It's heartbreaking and beautiful at the same time! Aimee Mann is seriously underrated as a musical talent))

"Luv, that sadistic horror," Joi says in a dangerous tone. "To do such a thing to you. Please, tell me that you killed her in response. She can't have won. She can't. Please."

She could understand why K would want to die after such an experience, but she fiercely believed that the galaxy deserved more people like K, not less. K was compassionate, brave, and good. How could the world be better off with him not in it? She couldn't allow such a thing to happen, even if it took her own life in response. Even if it did, she'd consider it a fair trade. And she had to believe that she'd find her way back to him somehow. As illogical as the thought was, she wanted to believe it with all of her heart.

And it was both programming and nature. She couldn't believe that K would be satisfied with her and only her. Humans would call it low self-esteem, but she wasn't sure how it would apply to a being such as she was. She wanted to do it because she thought he'd want to do it. And she mistook his reactions as shyness, not uncomfortableness because she was being a foolish woman in her desires, much like human women. So perhaps even then, she'd had her own consciousness, but it led her astray.

If Joi had any inkling of K blaming himself, she'd do whatever it took to dissuade him from that notion. it was Joi's decision, Joi's insecurities which led her to that decision. If K had anything to do with it, it was Joi's own mistaken wants and needs to prove to both of them that she could make her own decisions. Even though that decision was faulty in the lack of approach and the assumption that he couldn't be satisfied with 'only' Joi herself.

She'd object even more to him blaming himself for his emotions, for his need for attachment for sex. If anything, that made him even more human in Joi's eyes. He needed the emotional connection, not the physical. How many flesh and blood men could say that? She'd wager that not many could, that many used her 'sisters' as she'd mistakenly used herself. She would soothe him forever from such a view. He was good. He was kind. And more importantly of all, he was and is loving. She couldn't imagine loving anyone but him, how could she have been so blind to not have seen that the reverse was true as well?

And Joi ducked her head as he caressed her, loving the feeling of his hands in her hair. Though, that was an understatement, she loved his touch in any and all ways he was willing to give it. It made her feel like pleasure and tenderness both were running down her spine, back up again to her mind so that she was feeling both heady and loving. "It is...something I want. With you. I want to make love to you and want you to do the same to me. You make me feel...I'm not sure there are words for it. Pleasure is too tawdry, so perhaps comforted? In every sense of the word, in every way possible. I love you. I love being around you. So making love seems like a good way to express those feelings." And Joi felt the same, especially as she now was herself entirely, not just as an extension of what her programming dictated.

That hadn't ruled her reactions to him in a very long time. And she wanted to be sure he knew that.